Manic Monologue #10

This sums up this blog posting assignment pretty accurately.

Manic Monologue #9

Misteaks were made

Steered int he wrong direction and now she can't mooove. It's udderly tragic.

Cows.

Manic Monologue #8

Hey, remember Barbie? Ever wondered what she would look like without makeup?

You didn't? Well you're on the wrong blog then.

My face when I saw the image:

Manic Monologue #7

Dubai's newest patrol cars.

With all of those videos of reckless desert driving, maybe the police can finally keep up. The car is clearly a Lamborghini of some kind. One has to question though, where would they hold the suspects that they arrest? 

Manic Monologue #6

Here's some weird biology for you lurkers.

Researchers took ants with clear abdomens and fed them coloured sugar water. The results are pretty fascinating. When one ant drank from two different coloured sources, they made a new colour inside their bodies! Cool right?

Yeah, I need a hobby.

Manic Monologue #5

Have you ever wondered what Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne look like without the stardom? If you took away the glam and the fame and the plastic surgeries and go back in time about fifteen years, what do you suppose we would get?

This

We would get this

Manic Monologue #4

Why doesn't North America have any castles? I mean, Europe seems to hold that monopoly pretty firmly. I say we take the initiative and start a campaign to bring castles to Canadian and American shores. Sure we have our forts, but we need some badass brick-and-mortar, knight-in-armour, Lord of the Rings castles.

That's what I think.

Yeah.

Manic Monolgue # 3

Stumbled across the coordinates on Google Maps for North Korean labour camps. There are other coordinates for the prisoners' barracks, crude grave sites, and execution grounds.
Found here

There are no words...

Manic Monologue #2

Seriously, Dallas Zoo - you're scaring the children.

 

 

This reminds me of a story my parents told me about when I was younger.

When I was about 3 or 4 years old, my parents were driving me and my sister to Marine Land. Now we all know how close to the US border Marine Land is. My Dad missed the turnoff that would have taken us to the park, instead making a beeline for the US border. When we reached the station, and the border guard asked what our business was in the US, my Dad explained with much confusion that we had intended togo to Marine Land.

It must have been a slow day, because normally such a mistake would probably be a regular thing with many confused families missing the turn. Or maybe the two parents with their infant children were suspicious as fuck and were actually Colombian drug runners.

We were asked to pull to the side, because in order for us to turn around we had to cross the border. Since our 'visit' was under suspicious circumstance, our car was searched for over an hour. When all of the zero drugs/weapons/immigrants were found, they finally returned my parents identification and made us go back through the Canadian customs.

While this was yet another inconvenience, the Canadian guards had been watching with some amusement, and gave us significantly less hassle in getting back into Canada.

So that's my story. No refunds.

Manic Monolgue # 1

Drugs,

Russian Santa Power Rangers

From the frozen steppes of the inhospitable Russian cityscape, there comes a time when heroes emerge. When men from simple stock rise to occassions and lead the people to a bright and hopeful future.

These are not those heroes.



A combination of sullied Communist water, 70-proof vodka, and copious amounts of drugs has come together to bring this masterpiece to the public eye. A man under the guise of Santa Clause (or perhaps the true incarnation of such) leads his merry troop of drunken Power Rangers to the stage and dazzle audience members with masterful skills of the latest in crime fighting maneuvers. People are stunned by what they see, and though few are unimpressed with the show, the audience's sobriety is also under question.

Through this display, Santa and his Rangers bring a new hope to a desperately dreary landscape. Despite being hidden behind the Iron Curtain, they have managed to raise the red curtain for all dance enthusiasts.